|
Lets face it: McDonalds is evil. They now have restaurants in nearly every country in the world, and their
plot of world domination is nearing an end. What we have is a major crisis on our hands. Forget Osama and Saddam. Ray Kroc
was the most recent Hitler, and unless we do something right away, McDonalds will take over the world.
So you ask,
'How can McDonalds threaten the world? They don't have weapons!' You couldn't be farther from the truth. McDonalds has mastered
the art of biological warfare, and disguised their weapons as 'burgers' and 'fries'. Don't believe me? The following are the
actual nutritional facts from one of their most popular food items. This top secret information was stolen from McDonald's
headquarters on March 25, 2004.
Now you see it. McDonalds is fattening and artery-clogging the human population to death. Once we're out of their way,
the McDonalds employees will have the whole globe to themselves to find new ways to mistreat cows. We know what we must do.
Why can't we just gather together and stop this evil corporation?
Their defense is their advertising. Subliminal messaging
in their commercials, posters, advertisements, and even food wrappers are zombifying our minds and souls, forcing us to keep
mum about the truth of McDonalds. Most of the world's population have become mind slaves to McDonalds already. Only a few
select individuals have enough mental capacity to block out the subliminal propaganda and see past the colorful wrappers and
tasty fries.
Just when we thought the next generation would grow up to save us, McDonalds launched an extensive campaign
targeting the world's youth called Operation: Happy Meal. Operation Happy Meal was a huge success, using cheap $1 toys to
capture the souls of children everywhere. Our lives seemed doomed...
But don't fret. A few scientists for our cause
have spent many years creating a superior race of people; smarter, stronger, and cooler than the average human. We call them
Asians. These Asians are our only hope against the Nazi Burger freaks of McDonalds. McDonalds has launched a large campaign
against these Asians, as shown below:
Click here to see the campaign against the Asians.
So far the Asians have stood up well and only a few have given in to the Big McDonalds Asian Campaign (or Big MAC
for short). But we still need your help. So join me! Take a stand! Fight back against terrorists of the Golden Arches! The
future of all Humanity depends on it!
|
